She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
