so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
