can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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