mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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