I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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