Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
