I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
