i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
