dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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