I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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