she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
