I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
