do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
