do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
