we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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