420 ftw
Barsexuality is the new black.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize