After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
