I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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