i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
