Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
