i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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