she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
