Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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