k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
