So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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