My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
