so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
