i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
