Where is the hickey?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize