I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
