ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
