he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
