trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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