thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
