Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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