literally had 100 drinks last night.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
