Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
