All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
