I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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