The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
