is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She announced her abortion via fbk
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
