I molested 6 butterflies tonight
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
