I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
