I'm drive I can fine osifer
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
