Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
