You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
