Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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