Plan B is the new Plan A
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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