I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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