If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize