Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
