Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sorry about my life...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
