my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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