i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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