Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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