Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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