Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
