mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
