Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
